Alex came home the other day from summer camp really teary and upset because two of his buddies had informed him that he is not very smart so of course he was starting to get worried about whether or not he could hack it in 1st grade this fall. I promptly told him that the next time they or anyone else tells him that he is not smart enough or good enough in any way that he should tell them that they are full of crap!
Alex started to laugh and said, “Mom, I can’t say that in school, I’ll get in trouble.” I told him not to worry about getting in trouble to go ahead and say it and that if anyone had an issue with it they could call me.
Now I fully admit, this may not have been my best parenting moment ever, but Alex is very concerned about what other people think of him and he is really affected when people say things like that. I wanted him to know in no uncertain terms that he does not need to accept anyone else’s assessment of him and that he is not inadequate in any way.
Fast forward 3 days and Alex hops in the car when I pick him up and he promptly tells me that so and so were “full of crap today”. (I have to tell you that while I am calm, cool and collected for the most part, I have a strong fiesty side and just LOVED hearing that he stood up for himself.) So I asked him if he actually told them that they were full of crap and he said, “No, I just thought it.”
It may be unorthodox, but Alex now has a response mechanism in place when people say things that are not nice to him. (and by the way, why does this have to start so EARLY, he just finished kindergarten for crying out loud!)
So weather you choose to say it out loud or just think it in your head, know that no one can diminish who you are and if they try to… they are just full of crap! 🙂