The Myth Of The Dysfunctional Family And How They Affect Your Success

We all have one. We laugh about them, make jokes at their expense, blame them and curse them. The list goes on.

As my girlfriend Debbie so wisely stated: “We all have our own brand of crazy.”

The phrase ‘dysfunctional family’ typically calls to mind something that is broken and damaged. Something that needs to be over come and risen above.

But the whole notion of the dysfunctional family implies that somewhere out there is one completely perfect family. A family where everyone is always kind and supportive. They are all without flaw.

Bull Sh*t. I’m going to say that they don’t exist.

So if there isn’t a “perfect” family then is it possible that your family is not “dysfunctional”?

Maybe they were the perfect family to mold you into who you are today with all of your beautiful quirks so that you are uniquely suited to serve the world in a way that no one else on the planet is. With a combination of compassion and understanding that you would not have otherwise.

This isn’t about denying anything that happened to you in the past or belittling it. It is about giving yourself the chance to tell a new story around it. A story that empowers you and makes you realize that we all have our own brand of crazy. It’s part of your charm.

Technical skills are important in everything that we do, but technical skills do not guarantee success. It is our own unique personalities and abilities to relate to our clients that make us successful. So the next time you are blaming something or someone in your family for things not working out, take a deep breath, say thank you to the Universe for the additional understanding and know that you are now better equipped than ever to succeed.


  1. Lisa Wilder on March 10, 2011 at 3:50 pm

    So true, Nicole! lol…what is “normal” anyway?! Nothing more than a label used to compare, and pass judgment on ourselves when we inevitably come up lacking in some way.

    I say inevitably because normal is like perfect in that it doesn’t really exist. It’s nothing more than a concept of an ideal. As such, we can’t possibly measure up.

    Letting go of concepts like normal and perfect instantly relieves the pressure and stress of constantly striving for something that is unattainable.

    Much better to embrace “our own brand of crazy.” 😉

  2. Liz Nord on March 10, 2011 at 6:14 pm

    LOVE your post! Want this to be another guest post at Secrets of Moms?

    • Nicole Mangina on March 10, 2011 at 9:12 pm

      Hi Liz,

      Absolutely! Post away. Glad you liked it:)


  3. Corina on March 16, 2011 at 8:35 pm

    This is so true, i grew up in a dysfunctional family, which they still are today, and it has affected me in many ways.

    • Nicole Mangina on March 17, 2011 at 10:17 am

      Hi Corina,

      Thanks so much for the comment! Our families do have such an impact on us, but they do not define us.

      Wishing you all the best,

      • Suzanne on April 12, 2011 at 3:13 pm

        Amen, sister! I say…create your own definition of you! If you could put a photo of you in the “people dictionary” and write a definition of who you are…what would YOU like it to say? Don’t let your family or others create your definition…write it yourself. p.s. Write it in pencil, use an eraser and come back often to make needed changes. 😉

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