The Myth Of The Dysfunctional Family And How They Affect Your Success

We all have one. We laugh about them, make jokes at their expense, blame them and curse them. The list goes on.

As my girlfriend Debbie so wisely stated: “We all have our own brand of crazy.”

The phrase ‘dysfunctional family’ typically calls to mind something that is broken and damaged. Something that needs to be over come and risen above.

But the whole notion of the dysfunctional family implies that somewhere out there is one completely perfect family. A family where everyone is always kind and supportive. They are all without flaw.

Bull Sh*t. I’m going to say that they don’t exist.

So if there isn’t a “perfect” family then is it possible that your family is not “dysfunctional”?

Maybe they were the perfect family to mold you into who you are today with all of your beautiful quirks so that you are uniquely suited to serve the world in a way that no one else on the planet is. With a combination of compassion and understanding that you would not have otherwise.

This isn’t about denying anything that happened to you in the past or belittling it. It is about giving yourself the chance to tell a new story around it. A story that empowers you and makes you realize that we all have our own brand of crazy. It’s part of your charm.

Technical skills are important in everything that we do, but technical skills do not guarantee success. It is our own unique personalities and abilities to relate to our clients that make us successful. So the next time you are blaming something or someone in your family for things not working out, take a deep breath, say thank you to the Universe for the additional understanding and know that you are now better equipped than ever to succeed.

7 Comments

  1. Lisa Wilder on March 10, 2011 at 3:50 pm

    So true, Nicole! lol…what is “normal” anyway?! Nothing more than a label used to compare, and pass judgment on ourselves when we inevitably come up lacking in some way.

    I say inevitably because normal is like perfect in that it doesn’t really exist. It’s nothing more than a concept of an ideal. As such, we can’t possibly measure up.

    Letting go of concepts like normal and perfect instantly relieves the pressure and stress of constantly striving for something that is unattainable.

    Much better to embrace “our own brand of crazy.” 😉

  2. Liz Nord on March 10, 2011 at 6:14 pm

    LOVE your post! Want this to be another guest post at Secrets of Moms?

    • Nicole Mangina on March 10, 2011 at 9:12 pm

      Hi Liz,

      Absolutely! Post away. Glad you liked it:)

      Nicole

  3. Corina on March 16, 2011 at 8:35 pm

    This is so true, i grew up in a dysfunctional family, which they still are today, and it has affected me in many ways.

    • Nicole Mangina on March 17, 2011 at 10:17 am

      Hi Corina,

      Thanks so much for the comment! Our families do have such an impact on us, but they do not define us.

      Wishing you all the best,
      Nicole

      • Suzanne on April 12, 2011 at 3:13 pm

        Amen, sister! I say…create your own definition of you! If you could put a photo of you in the “people dictionary” and write a definition of who you are…what would YOU like it to say? Don’t let your family or others create your definition…write it yourself. p.s. Write it in pencil, use an eraser and come back often to make needed changes. 😉

Leave a Comment





Signup to receive Nicole's blog posts via email weekly:

Other Posts

Treat Everything As Proof That It’s Working

November 14, 2025

Admittedly it’s sometimes easier said than done. However, your ability to do this determines your success, happiness, and your ability to not burn out. When things are going your way, it’s easy to find evidence of success, and believe the Universe has your back. But what about the ones that don’t go your way? At…

Read More

5 Ways I Recharge As An Extroverted Introvert

October 30, 2025

It’s been a beautifully busy month filled with events, travel and time with friends old and new. As an extroverted introvert I LOVE spending time with others. Nothing beats being together in real life. It makes my heart happy on so many levels. And, it drains my internal battery. This month has reminded me how…

Read More

How Energy and Mindset Affect Your Income

October 17, 2025

In real estate, we obsess over skills, tactics, and checklists. How to market the listing.What to say when a seller wants to overprice.How many calls to stay in “flow.” And yet, those things only get you so far… If your internal state is scattered, doubtful, resentful, or exhausted… no amount of tactical excellence can override…

Read More

I Tried Reinventing Myself, It Was Exhausting

October 10, 2025

We’ve all been there. Stuck, burned out, frustrated. Or maybe it’s not that bad, but you’re quietly tolerating the business you have, while sacrificing the life you want. Either way, it’s time for a change. I get it. I’ve been there – a couple of times. Any time I needed a shift, I assumed it…

Read More

Confidence Before Success, and Other Lies I Used To Believe

September 26, 2025

It’s the classic chicken and the egg debate. What comes first – confidence or success? Or better yet – how ‘successful’ do you need to be before you feel confident? I’ve missed out on a lot of great opportunities in my career because I didn’t feel confident. Referrals I didn’t follow up on. Fees that…

Read More

They Never Should Have Hired Me

September 19, 2025

Years ago, I spent months with some clients looking for investment properties – and got absolutely no where. We spent hours looking at houses, and I hated every minute of it. I could tell you they were awful clients. They weren’t. I could say they weren’t true buyers. They were. I could tell you the…

Read More

Urgency is Scarcity In Disguise

September 5, 2025

The kids are back in school, and it’s time to get back to work. Fall is often the my most productive time of year in real estate. But it wasn’t always. There’s an odd dynamic that happens as the market heats back up, and the clock ticks with only so many days left in the…

Read More

This One Trips Me Up Every Time

August 29, 2025

We are officially empty nesters. Ryan moved into his dorm yesterday, and we came home to a really quiet house. This last month of getting the boys settled has had some interesting twists and turns. It’s been a fantastic reminder that our job is to focus on what we want, and then let go of…

Read More

We’ve Entered the Butterfly Zone

August 22, 2025

It’s no secret – I’m a little bit woo. Actually a lot woo. Most mornings I ask the Universe: What do you want me to know that will support me with my day? Then I draw a card. This week I drew the Butterfly card. A symbol of transformation, good things to come and acknowledgement…

Read More

If Only I Had Stopped Doing This Sooner

August 15, 2025

Can you feel it?  The vibe is shifting from summer to back to school and work. The second half of August is always interesting. My calendar is still full with summer activities, and at the same time, my mind is slowly changing gears back to work mode. My creativity is coming back, and I’m getting…

Read More